Lessons of the Lotus: Ancient Buddhist Wisdom for Modern Day Living

by Mariana Bozesan

Sometime around 563 BC, a pregnant woman in northern India dreamed that a white elephant had entered her side. Brahmin priests interpreted this to mean that her child would grow up to be either a great emperor or a great holy man, and a few months later, Siddhartha Gautama was born. Because of the prediction, the child's father feared his son would renounce his position of power and privilege, and tried to discourage this by providing a life of supreme pleasure and ultimate luxury.

But Siddhartha's dissatisfaction of his life of ease grew and he began going on excursions outside the palace. These journeys eventually led him to abandon his life of comfort in favor of a spiritual quest, and after becoming Buddha, or "the enlightened one" he decided that he would share his most important revelations with the world at large. Surviving long centuries of religious turmoil and the confusions of human history, these four noble truths retain an amazing degree of relevance to our modern lives, and point the way out of our most persistent bad habits and even unhappiness in general.

Noble truth #1: Suffering. Of course, we needn't be Buddhists to know that suffering is inevitable. Conflict, sickness and death bring some of the more dramatic forms of it into our lives, but it's important to remember that even minor dissatisfactions such as a button missing from your favorite blouse may lead to feelings of disappointment. These emotions shouldn’t be ignored and excused as silly or insignificant. Buddha said that even material happiness, health and good fortune contain the seeds of suffering due to their impermanence for we all die and don’t take any of that with us.
Buddha didn’t say these things to be negative – quite the opposite actually. He encouraged us to face our suffering head on, and to free ourselves from the illusions we use to insulate ourselves from it. Acknowledging the presence of pain in our lives, he said, can be a powerful antidote to inaction and self-deception. He also pointed out that once we begin to accept the simple but powerful truth of suffering, we are able to start to see past it.
Being overweight or obese is a major form of suffering. In this state, we feel out of control due to our reactionary responses to our emotions through compulsive eating. This loss of control doesn’t stop there, it generally spills over into other areas of our life. For instance, when we are unhappy and unsure of the primary cause we become easily frustrated. Usually, we take out our frustrations on the people closest to us, i.e., our family and friends. When we are not happy all components of our life suffer. Conversely, when we are happy every aspect of our life benefits as well. Dismissing the direct correlation between being overweight to feelings of unhappiness would be a grave misjudgment. By acknowledging the truth of suffering enables us to make the conscious decision to change it.

Practical suggestion: If there is some way in which you have been suffering recently, acknowledge it by saying it out loud or writing it down. Realize that problems are part of life but suffering is a choice. Notice that nobody but us is responsible for how we feel at any given moment. Thus, by learning to acknowledge your emotions you become the master and not the slave of your feelings especially if those feelings make you eat uncontrollably.

Taking responsibility for our emotions by recognizing the negative effects that may follow from those actions jolts us into reality about our situation. Knowing that we are in control of what goes into our body instantly puts us in the driver’s seat. Challenging societal views on what is beautiful is a major first step. We are all beautiful in our individuality and we should never let the media determine our self-worth.

Noble truth #2: Craving. The second noble truth reveals craving or "tanha" as the root cause of all suffering, and advises that to end such pain, we must end our cravings. Not only can these cravings develop into more addictive patterns, tanha can also refer to the human tendency to focus on how we think things should be versus how they actually are. Buddha points out that if we allow our desires for "want" and "should" to dominate us, we will never find peace.
Easy, right? Not exactly, but it can be done through honest acknowledgements of pain and increased selfless acts. For example, one way of freeing ourselves from the rule of our desires is through generosity or "dana." In giving, Buddha said we are acting in the opposite direction of craving—away from the ego. Additionally, through meditation, we can start to change the perception of ourselves as a confused network of desires. When we learn to notice our greedier motivations, we can loosen their hold over us, especially if we are able to suffer through them.

Practical suggestion: Spend some time observing your daily thoughts and choices. Notice how craving plays a role in these thoughts and which cues lead you to craving food.

Noble truth #3: The end of suffering. What would the end of suffering look like? It's an easy question to ask, but nearly impossible to answer. In a sense, there is no answer, only the experience of Nirvana, which exists beyond all words and ideas. As the end of craving and suffering, this state is the ultimate goal of Buddhism. The word "nirvana" literally means "extinction" and is sometimes compared to a flame going out. It is also sometimes referred to as "the cool cave," or as "the unborn, the uncreated." More positively, it is also seen as the highest bliss, as liberation from the bondage of our desires.
To reach this state, Buddha said that we must sustain practices that lead us away from our cravings. The path isn't an easy one. It requires practice, determination and courage! Modern Buddhist leaders such as the Dalai Lama advise that we not approach this in a perfectionistic manner. "There is not much hurry," he says. "If in day to day life you lead a good life, honesty, with love, with compassion, with less selfishness, then automatically it will lead to Nirvana."

Practical suggestion: Recall a time in your life when you felt as if you were in a higher, or exalted state—such as when you were in love. Try to remember what it felt like, and what led you there. Close your eyes and visualize yourself in that situation. Feel again what you felt, say what you said, do what you did and increase that intensity so that you feel your whole body vibrating with that feeling. In that state visualize yourself in your favorite outfit, slim, healthy and vibrant. Increase that feeling until you are certain that you will achieve it. Do this every day for ten minutes for the next 30 days. You will be amazed at the results. When we make Nirvana part of our daily life, it benefits not only ourselves but everyone around us. Nirvana is closer than we think.

Noble truth #4: Buddha's practical guide to everyday life. If the third noble truth describes a place beyond suffering, the fourth is a map for getting there. Buddha's fourth noble truth describes something he called the "Noble Eightfold Path," and its lessons offer specific advice on the wisdom and moral principles of Buddhism. Several of these guidelines have to do with concentration or mindfulness, and teach practitioners to avoid unwholesome states while cultivating wholesome ones. For example, rather than watching television for several hours on end (a state in which overeating often takes place), a mindful approach might involve getting out and taking a walk, journaling or getting together with a friend and discussing the day.

Practical suggestion: If there's a certain activity or time of the day during which bad habits are most likely to manifest themselves, change your routine in a way that involves interacting with the world in a new, more reflective way. Become the observer, the person who is in charge rather than living in reaction to other people’s actions or your own feelings. For instance, the moment you feel like having another helping of food take a small five minute break before doing it. In addition, ask your stomach if it is satiated or still wants some food. If yes, help yourself and feel good about it. After your meal, celebrate you newly acquired habits.

Buddhism offers us a truly useful way in which to view our own motivations and their consequences. It validates our suffering while encouraging us to act on those feelings rather than wallowing in them. It offers startlingly relevant insight into modern day compulsions and addictions. Finally, by emphasizing the activities and habits of mind that promote compassion and understanding, Buddhism offers us the promise of real, lasting freedom from our worst habits—a peacefulness and happiness that can act as the "cool cave" in the center of our heated, hectic lives.

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