Filling the Void: The Nourishing Properties of Our Passions

by Mariana Bozesan

In his illuminating book Food Combining and Digestion, author Steve Meyerowitz writes, "If you question successful dieters, you will learn that the only possible way to lose weight is to gain life"¹.

What does this mean?

Overeating and staying sedentary may have begun as methods for rewarding ourselves for getting through a busy day or a difficult event, but for many of us they may have gradualy become substitutes for living. Slowly and silently, our excess weight has been wrapping itself around us like a boa constrictor, progressively cutting off our access to the complete range of life's feelings and experiences.

At first, this may have been a welcome restriction. It may have seemed to reduce the world to more manageable proportions. But as the years slip by and our habits deepen, the world becomes continually smaller while our bodies get larger. We are willing to do less and less. We exempt ourselves from certain things because we’re afraid of how we look. Many of us accept this as an inevitable part of growing older, when in reality it's simply a gradual giving up on our own sense of control.

Remember, "the only possible way to lose weight is to gain life." The key to implementing Steve Meyerowitz's observation is to move in the opposite direction—away from numbness and toward feeling. Toward living and vitality. But these words—living, feeling, vitality—they are all so general and abstract. What do they really mean?

This is where our individual passions come in. We must each decide for ourselves what will replace our destructive behaviors, for we cannot get rid of them without creating something to take their place. Without creating a life of meaning — a life full of passion, joy and fulfillment, it's fairly certain that we will simply return to a passive, receptive approach to existence².

So how can we move in the opposite direction and condition ourselves for weight loss success?

1. First of all we need to know exactly what it is that we want. Thus, the formation of specific goals is the first step. They allow us to define what really excites and motivates us. For instance, which of the following statements inspires you more:


I want to lose fifteen pounds by September 15th.

On September 15th, I will buy a fabulous red cocktail dress and will wear it on the cruise that we're taking to Barbados, where I will put my current diving lessons to great use and also hike and dance the night away. When I return, I will continue to make healthy choices so that I can continue on in my journey toward a healthy weight.

See how making a goal specific can add fire and passion to our efforts? Notice how the second goal is full of references to activities that the author is savoring with joyful anticipation? Notice also how it focuses less on arbitrary outcomes and more on the process? See how it names the completely attainable goal of buying a new dress, versus obsessing about what the size of the dress will be?


2. The second step towards reaching our goal is to know why we want to achieve that goal of losing x pounds? Knowing why we do something is one of the most exciting and important driving forces in a human life. The why is what gets us out of bed every morning for we are all striving to gain more happiness and avoid suffering. So make sure you journal all the reasons why you want to lose weight. Herein lies the key to suceeding this time around. Also, write down what has prevented you from losing that weight in the past. This is key because you will learn so much about all the mixed emotions within yourself which may have prevented you in the past from following through.



3. The third step is to come up with alternatives. Let us say we draw a lot of pleasure from eating and we have gained a lot of weight just because we associate eating with feeling good. Thus, it is important to train our brain to associate more pleasure to excercising, listening to music, meeting with friends, etc. than eating. So, what sorts of alternative activities are you going to cultivate? If you have difficulty approaching this question, it can be helpful to think of the people you know who seem to be living full, rich lives. How do they do that? What kinds of activities do they participate in? What sorts of things have you been interested in, but never done? What is one way in which you could begin to incorporate one interesting activity in your daily life? What kind of small but specific goal could you develop around this one activity? Ask them and model them. Also, dare to enlist their support.



4. The fourth step is to visualize our success. Our brain doesn’t make a difference between imagination and reality. Thus, we should use that power by spending ten minutes per day seeing ourselves in our dream body. When we are able to imagine such an exciting future, we will naturally work toward a September 15th goal on which we will delight ourselves by how much we've been able to accomplish. We got there not through deprivation, starvation and "will power," but through an exciting goal and the enjoyment of activities like visualizations, dancing, creating beautiful realtionships with ourselves and others things that naturally lead us far away from the couch, the fridge and the television.

These steps can help us to put our fondest hopes and dreams into specific and invigorating terms. They also open up our perception and let us begin to imagine ourselves doing things we've never done before or have abandoned as unrealistic. Another good informational resource to help us in our quest for ultimate success can found in Anthony Robbins’ book Awakening the Giant Within. When our daily routines start to be enriched by these activities, our lives begin to take on the vitality that Steven Meyerowitz was talking about. After that, weight loss happens so naturally that it can become almost an afterthought—a non-issue. Can we even envision such a thing? We should, for it's the envisioning of such things that make it possible for us achieve them.