Cultivating Forgiveness

by Mariana Bozesan

In his book 10 Secrets for Success and Inner Peace Dr. Wayne Dyer¹ encourages us to "Become a person who refuses to be offended by any one, any thing, or any set of circumstances." By giving up judgment and cultivating forgiveness we free ourselves from the burden of pain, fear, anxiousness and resentment. "Resentment is like venom that continues to pour through your system, doing its poisonous damage long after being bitten by the snake. It’s not the bite that kills you; it’s the venom" Wayne Dyer reminds us. By freeing ourselves from such destructive feelings of self-righteousness we have the energy to focus on our intentions and goals in life. We no longer allow our or someone else’s past behavior to control our present.

In his The Soul of Healing Meditations tape Dr. Deepak Chopra² says:

"Every decision I make is a choice between a grievance and a miracle. I release all regrets, grievances and resentments and choose the miracle".

In this statement Deepak reminds us how easy it is to forgive ourselves and others. It is only one decision away. When we realize that we are actually one resolution away from happiness we can practice forgiveness every time we feel the need to be free. This is a very powerful tool that helps us live a life of fulfillment and meaning.

When I have a hard time forgiving somebody and want stick to my righteousness, I remind myself that by doing so, I am actually allowing that person or past event to control my present moment and possibly my future if I don’t let go. I realize that my inability to forgive others, or myself for that matter, interferes with my inner freedom, my intentions and highest goals in life. It puts me in a re-active rather than a pro-active role and I give up control to that outer event. Reminding myself of these consequences gets me out of a negative state very quickly.